I will always love you

It's over. 6 months came and went, they were bliss, even the things we fought over, even his traits that honestly I hated. I still love him for exactly who he is. It hurts...it hurts that I wasn't worth trying to fix the problems. It hurts that I wasn't worth enough to talk about it, instead he kept it bottled up, but he's no good at hiding anything so I knew something was up, but he'd still say "nothing". With him I laughed harder and longer, life seemed sweeter. I knew that I had him to lean on. But now, now my heart hurts so badly that I want to cut it out and put it in a box, never to have to deal with it again. Everyone tells me I'll get over it, time will heal my broken heart, but I don't think this ones the same. I think he was my besheiret, my soul mate. Anyone who can love me for exactly who I am, and nothing more or less, that's what I want. My friends tell me that he's just as hurt as I am, but I don't think he is, he looks at me a lot, he laughs a lot more than I do. I think he's sad, but not as crushed as I am. I want to run up to him and hold his hand and I want to hear him say "I love you, always and forever" like he usually does. I want to talk about what our wedding will be like, I want to talk about how many kids we're going to have. I want to be myself, as scatterbrained as that may be. I want to be angry at him, but when I see him I just want to smile, I see him walking towards me and I think, "he's going to take it all back!" but I know that's not true. I want to be back in his arms, I want him back so badly. The pain in my heart is enough to kill me. Just when I think I've cried my last tears, there are more that come. I'd kill for one last chance to hug him, truly hug him, and to tell him "I love you, forever and always" and to hear him whisper back, " I love you, always and forever". Just one last time. And if you're reading this, I will always love you.