What's the point?!!?

After starting a research assignment in my English class about 
Photoshop and how its effected girls psychologically it disturbs me 
how much something can effect how someone perceives them self. Being 
someone who tends to swim in the opposite direction of the fashion 
trends, I wear shirts that aren't skin tight, and dare I say it?!?!? I 
don't wear make-up most days, and when I do it's generally unnoticed 
compared to the wild and more....noticeable styles in the hallways. I'm 
okay with walking into school and wearing sweats and a t-shirt, I'm 
okay with not showing every piece of skin available to be shown, and 
I'm okay with not exposing my boobs all the way down to my nipples. 
Believe me I'm way okay with wearing shirts that hit at my collar 
bone! I've always realized that images in magazines were edited but 
never truly to exactly HOW edited they where. To look like these 
models us girls would have to somehow manage to eat practically 
nothing while going in for plastic surgery in order to make ourselves 
look healthy while also reshaping, plumping, and enhancing everything. 
We'd have to have perfect skin, minimal pores, and if your lashes are 
less than 2 inches long, well, don't even try to put on that mascara! 
We'd have to make sure that our teeth were white enough, our eyes 
large enough and your skin better be either extremely tan or deathly 
pale. I've never considered myself an ugly person, but if you look at 
these standards of beauty I'm the ugliest thing to walk the planet! 
Thankfully I don't care about these things. I love my flaws! My 
freckles make me different, my eyes area not huge like an anime 
character's but that's okay, I don't need 5 inch corneas that make 
tennis balls look tiny. Though many girls complain about things like 
chest size and other things, I feel that mine fits me, it's 
proportional to how I'm supposed to be. My legs may not be toned and 
the size of pencils, and my stomach isn't perfectly flat and tan, but 
that little bit of fat on my tummy means that I can support life 
without a problem and my legs, though not thunder thighs by any means, 
mean that I actually use them to walk with, not spread wide for 
everyone in the world to have sex with. My face may not be the 
clearest of them all, but acne is a given, everyone gets it! So what 
if you've got a pimple on your nose! Everyone does at some point or 
another. What is even more beautiful to me is that I'm noticed for my 
personality before my looks, people notice my love for Superman before 
they notice my imperfect eyes or my not so slim nose. People notice me 
for being me, not for how I dress, they notice that I actually know 
what is going on in class rather than what label my jeans are. There's 
a poster in my health class that summarizes everything! In 30 years in 
won't matter what jeans you wore or what you looked like, it'll matter 
what you learned and how you used it, and if you were true to yourself!

I will always love you

It's over. 6 months came and went, they were bliss, even the things we fought over, even his traits that honestly I hated. I still love him for exactly who he is. It hurts...it hurts that I wasn't worth trying to fix the problems. It hurts that I wasn't worth enough to talk about it, instead he kept it bottled up, but he's no good at hiding anything so I knew something was up, but he'd still say "nothing". With him I laughed harder and longer, life seemed sweeter. I knew that I had him to lean on. But now, now my heart hurts so badly that I want to cut it out and put it in a box, never to have to deal with it again. Everyone tells me I'll get over it, time will heal my broken heart, but I don't think this ones the same. I think he was my besheiret, my soul mate. Anyone who can love me for exactly who I am, and nothing more or less, that's what I want. My friends tell me that he's just as hurt as I am, but I don't think he is, he looks at me a lot, he laughs a lot more than I do. I think he's sad, but not as crushed as I am. I want to run up to him and hold his hand and I want to hear him say "I love you, always and forever" like he usually does. I want to talk about what our wedding will be like, I want to talk about how many kids we're going to have. I want to be myself, as scatterbrained as that may be. I want to be angry at him, but when I see him I just want to smile, I see him walking towards me and I think, "he's going to take it all back!" but I know that's not true. I want to be back in his arms, I want him back so badly. The pain in my heart is enough to kill me. Just when I think I've cried my last tears, there are more that come. I'd kill for one last chance to hug him, truly hug him, and to tell him "I love you, forever and always" and to hear him whisper back, " I love you, always and forever". Just one last time. And if you're reading this, I will always love you.