scared

As I'm sitting here talking to him, i realize why I'm shaking and why i can't control myself. Why i feel depressed and alone. The eomotions running through me are scaring me not because i'm afraid but because they are so pure, every emotion is purly that one thing, there is no mixing of them, they are all themselves and are like oil and water when trying to mix them. I'm shaking because i don't know how to control myself as i talk to him, i want him to know everything, give him so much and tell him my every secret. I love him, my heart says it, and my poor soul isn't ready for these emotions yet, they're to strong, to pure, to true for me to want or even be able to deal with them just yet. I want to tell him but i'm scared of the truth, he's figured out that i like him, but and i've said to much and now he want's to know the rest of what i've kept silent about for so long. So i tell him, and i'm right, he doesn't feel the same to any extent, i knew this was coming but i didn't want to believe it. Unaware of wat my body is doing i suddenly realize that something hot and wet is rolling down my cheek. It's salty and sweet, and full of the love i want so badly to have from him. Tears stream down my face, silently but like a stream, leaving paths for the rest to follow. I tell him that i can not go on for i am scared of my own emotions. But he tell's me it helps to talk and that i will feel better if i tell him, and i believe him so i do. The deeper i go the worse i shake the worse i feel and the more i want to never love again. I begin to think that it is better to never love than be loved and lose that person who you love. I tell him this, I've told him everything else, the feelings i've kept inside for months, the very kisses i've wanted to give him and i've dreamt about i've told him it all. And he only makes it worse by saying that if i do something because i can't control myself he'll understand. I want him to say "Stop you're going to make yourself love sick if you don't stop!" i want him to say he loves me too. I want my heart to be set at ease again once more, for a little while. But he doesn't and my heart isn't, so i sit and shake and cry and wish for the love i long and the emotions i fear.