Emotions

I know that being the oldest of 4 kids, trying to get good grades, having a steady relationship, and singing in an international choir sounds like an easy thing to balance to some people. To other people this may sound very crazy and that they for sure could never stand up to the task. I for one, agree. The amount of physical and emotional stress that is put on you to do well in school, be a good role model and many other things is incredible. The emotions that bubble inside me every day are to much altogether to keep held calmly inside of me. So I seek the help of my friends, a boyfriend, or one of the most trusted people in my life. I sit and I cry or I laugh or I just sit there in that person's arms relaxing and thinking deeply until I feel that I know exactly what I want to talk about. But my emotions lately have been crazy, out of control, and there are times, like the one I'm in right now, where all I want to do is to sit and cry. But I can't because for as much as I want to, I know that me crying is a rather big thing. Joram comes up to me and ask's me what's wrong, then Kaleb, then Isabelle. Dad will poke his head in, I'll tell him to just leave me alone and he will, last but not least mom will poke her head in and no matter what I may say she won't leave. I have to thank her for this, because if she did leave me, I would sit in my room all day and just cry, instead I sit and cry and tell her everything that is wrong, and she listens. For as strange as it may sound though, that's all that i might need is the paitence of someone who cares to just sit there and listen. Emotions are a funny thing, they control your life, who you are and what you feel. They even control how we act. I don't want to be a sad person, I don't like crying, I like laughing and making other people laugh, I like writing sweet things that make people think or cry or have a personal connection to whatever it is that my thoughts are. I like being a teenager and knowing that I am surrounded by a community of people who love me and will help guide me through life. Although the time to letting go of my hand is coming closer and closer and I know that it will be scary for a while to be out in the world all on my own. But I also know that the community that surrounds me won't leave me either, and that's what I remember every time I have a bad day, that no matter what I do or what my emotions may be, they will always be there for me.